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 simba's story

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Simbalato
Experienced Wolf
Experienced Wolf
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Number of posts : 415
Localisation : The village of the panda people O.O
Registration date : 2007-07-18

PostSubject: simba's story   Tue Sep 23, 2008 6:56 am

STORY PREVIEW

"Thank you again"said Ivory as she waved back to a merchant. Then she looked at her new garment, it was a heavenly maiden robe. She then walked down the stone road towards the kafra lady.Ivory just noticied that somethign was not quite right. She looked around for a moment and saw no sign of Allie. "Allie??"she said.

Simba sat on the soft grass outside of south prontera.He looked up at the sky and started to think about things.

"HEY"said Ivory as he came and ploped right beside him. "What you thinking about??"She said amaved that he was in deep thought or it had appeared for him to be in deep thought.

"About the clouds"He said as he pointed to the sky with a smile on his face.

"Why clouds?"She said as she started looking up at the clouds.

"Becuase they look funny.See one looks like a poring and another looks like a cycopath theif."He said pointing to the clouds that he had mentioned.

"Of course" said Ivory as she looked around and saw a lunatic jump off a small hill near them and landed on its feet. Then the lunatic came and growled at Simba and Ivory.


"Eclipse??"Said simba asking ivory if it was a eclipse.

"I think so"She reponded to his question almsot instently.

"FIRE BOLT"Simba yelled out loud sending 5 blasts of fire at the eclipse and then started waking at the Eclipse with his book making the lunatics surrounding him and the eclipse in to a curse."HEAVENS DRIVE" he yelled again killing everyone of them.

"Hey Simba have you seen Allie today??"asked Ivory curious to where she might have gone.

"No why??" answered Simba a bit curious as well.

~Writer's notes~

OKay this is a preview before I really start righting the first chapter I want u all to just review it and tell me some pointers on how I could improve a bit and give me some examples.
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