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 The wolves war (WW for short )

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Simbalato
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PostSubject: Re: The wolves war (WW for short )   Sat Apr 05, 2008 5:35 pm

YES....... wait head chopped off?
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Simbalato
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PostSubject: Re: The wolves war (WW for short )   Sat Apr 05, 2008 5:36 pm

Go on vent if u can
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Simbalato
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PostSubject: Re: The wolves war (WW for short )   Tue Apr 08, 2008 1:04 am

I have writers block XP
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Olafur
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PostSubject: Re: The wolves war (WW for short )   Tue Apr 08, 2008 9:07 am

haha simba~ come on you cant have writers blockade now =O!!! the story is so good T_T!!!! hery i know, lets go MvP Thanatos and you might get a few ideas xD!

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- If i thrive i've overcome this land, if i fail i die a worthy man! - Ayreon ~ Two Gates

- Any coward can lie, but it takes great bravery to admit the truth. - Olafur

- You can buy a dog with food, you can buy a man with gold, but no one, can buy a Wolf of Geffen. - Olafur

- One man's Fun, Is another man's Hell - Metallica.

- Brother's everywhere, raise your hands into the air, we are warrior's, Warriors of The World !! - Manowar
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Simbalato
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PostSubject: Re: The wolves war (WW for short )   Tue Apr 15, 2008 12:22 am

Chapter 8
the gathering

"Sleepy, sleepy, sleepy" said a young assasin as he laid on a hill closing his eyes with a poring sitting next to him.

"what are you doing Pojo?" said chibi as she chucked a rock at the young assasin.

"Relaxing" said Pojo as he sat up looking at chibi. " Why did you bug me tho?"

"Becuase haven't you heard that the memebers of the wolves are being.... KIDNAPPED" yelled chibi as he smacked Pojo for being that lazy.

"Well I ma tired and I can not go hunting monsters on a none rested head." yawned pojo rubbing his cheek. "... and why did you smack me"

"Becuase I fel..t...." said chibi as she stopped in her sentence noticing a huge giant monsters. "Ohhh no... it... it is... satan morroc" she said as she looked in fright at the huge monsters towering over her. Then satan morroc reached down to grab chibi when she cut his hand spilling blood on the grassy feild. " get away from us" yelled chibi to the monster.

"Yeah what she said" said pojo getting in a battle stance.

"You weaklings" laughed satan morroc in a booming and loud voice. " chibi you will come with me or I will kill this." said satan morroc as he pulled out negar in his left hand. Chibi just paused and looked at pojo and said " sorry". Then she wlkaed into satan morroc's right hand as was teleported to thanatos tower.

"OH MY GOD" said pojo staring into the spot where satan morroc was.

~Thanatos tower~

"You better get me down from here" said Ivory as she kicked Obium in the face.

"arghhhh" said Odium about to hit Ivory.

"Don't Memory of Thanatos still needs to eat a precious little girl like her to regain full command over all the Monster kings" said Despero. Ivory just stared and worried to about what was going to happen to her. Then odium and despero tied her up to a pole in the huge courtyard in the tower of thanatos.

"Awww" said odium in depression of not being able to even hurt Ivory. Then they both walked away to Thanatos's thrown room where all the other monster kings were waiting for the arrival of their sister.

"I am back" said satan morroc carring Chibi and Negar.

"Odium place the crusader in the dungeons" said thanatos. Odium just nodded and took Negar from satan morroc and walked away.

"Well hello dear" said thanatos as he patted Chibi on the head which made her angry. "we would like to take something from you so know if you can pass me your shoe I know you are hiding the stone in it." said thanatos.

"What stone?" said Chibi as she looked away from thanatos acting like she didn't know what he was talking about.

"Gloom if you may." said Thanatos and looked at the gloom under night who just nodded and lifted chibi by her hands with one hand and pulled off her shoes with the other. "Thank you" said Thanatos. Then thanatos reached down the shoe and pulled out a silver, sparkling stone. " Come to life, Valkyrie" He said throwing the stone in the air. A huge angelic image appeared coming out of the stone but when she was done coing back to life she looked very demonic and powerful. "Hello valkryie" said thanatos.

"Hello..... Thanatos" said Valkyrie

Next time ON WW (Wolves war)
Chapter 9
The firey take over
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PostSubject: Re: The wolves war (WW for short )   Tue Apr 15, 2008 2:23 pm

sunny I am so glad the writers block is gone.
Allie cat
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Olafur
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PostSubject: Re: The wolves war (WW for short )   Tue Apr 15, 2008 2:25 pm

Yeah me to, GO VALKYRIE!!!! umm i mean <.<....Go Chibi!! cheers beat that weakling Satan Morroc to a pulp lol!

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- If i thrive i've overcome this land, if i fail i die a worthy man! - Ayreon ~ Two Gates

- Any coward can lie, but it takes great bravery to admit the truth. - Olafur

- You can buy a dog with food, you can buy a man with gold, but no one, can buy a Wolf of Geffen. - Olafur

- One man's Fun, Is another man's Hell - Metallica.

- Brother's everywhere, raise your hands into the air, we are warrior's, Warriors of The World !! - Manowar
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Simbalato
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PostSubject: Re: The wolves war (WW for short )   Thu Apr 17, 2008 3:57 am

Chapter 9
the firey take over

Simba slowly rised form a long sleep and noticed he was lieing next to a tree near the tower of thanatos. Snow slowly fell on his face making him feel a bit cold but he enjoyed the fell of the brittle cold wind blowing against his face. He looked up in the tree slowly to see Hnaged lieing on a branch with blood dripping down his arm. The red glistening blood worried simba a bit.

"What happened" said Simba looking at Hnaged.

"Well I came to save you when I saw Theo in another prison cell, but the Ktullanux noticed me opening your prison cell so I was lucky to get out wiht you" said hanged as he looked at the huge gash going down his arm from where a Ice titan smacked him.

"What can we do about that?" said Simba as he thought a bit. It was for him to think of a way to help him when he could not heal for he was just a sage. Then he noticed a priest from the distance running. "I wonder why she is running" said Sim as he looked at the priest.

"Is that Rose" said Hanged looking off to the distance. (The first none wovles ragnarok player dude on this story Very Happy). Then hanged noticed the huge mob of plasmas and breezes.

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH crap" said Simba as he was worried. "If we get caught by them we are techniquilly.... screwed" said simba as he cast three fire walls trying to protect him and hanged.

"Hey" said Rose as she noticed Simba and Hanged and ran towards them.

"NUUU STAY AWAYYYYYY!!" yelled Simba. Hnaged just climbed the tree higher to notice a breeze was blown all the way to the top of the tree.

"You have to be kidding me" said Hnaged as his jaw dropped open and he fell off the tree trying to protect himself. Then Rose caught up with them.

"In there maybe we could hide in the old shack" said hanged as he ran in the shack with simba and rose.

"That was close" said rose as she hide in the corner.

"Heal please Rose" said Hanged as he showed rose the huge gash. Then Rose used heal on him to heal up his arm.

"Okay so what......" said Simba not being able to finish his sentence. Him and Hanged vanished out of now where.

"Thanks you two now I have to teleport back" Cryed Rose to the thin air a bit angry for Simba and Hanged ditching them.

This chapter will be continued I have to go do stuff at the moment so next chapter
chapter 9 part 2
The firey take over
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Pietanus
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PostSubject: Re: The wolves war (WW for short )   Thu Apr 17, 2008 4:43 pm

No need to typ "Hanged" so fast it will be typed as "Hnaged"
Just a smal note for you Razz.
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Olafur
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PostSubject: Re: The wolves war (WW for short )   Thu Apr 17, 2008 5:03 pm

no need to type "type" so fast it become "typ"
Just a small note for you ^^

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- If i thrive i've overcome this land, if i fail i die a worthy man! - Ayreon ~ Two Gates

- Any coward can lie, but it takes great bravery to admit the truth. - Olafur

- You can buy a dog with food, you can buy a man with gold, but no one, can buy a Wolf of Geffen. - Olafur

- One man's Fun, Is another man's Hell - Metallica.

- Brother's everywhere, raise your hands into the air, we are warrior's, Warriors of The World !! - Manowar
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Simbalato
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PostSubject: Re: The wolves war (WW for short )   Fri Apr 18, 2008 2:15 am

XD I tryed as hard as I could not to type hnaged XD yeah i typed it alot... but part 2 of the chapter will come out during the weekend XD seens I have crct testing...DId you know crct has to do with the no child left behind law thingy?
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Simbalato
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PostSubject: Re: The wolves war (WW for short )   Fri Apr 18, 2008 3:43 am

Chapter 9 part 2
The firey take over

".....are we going to do now?" said Simba finishing his sentence noticing Allie was standing on a boat with Magi, Pan, Nokodo, Nekopriest, Cee, Anne, Amon, Lily, Hanged, Squeam, and Shade. Then he noticed that Epyon, Rose, and NinjaNeko."Wow and hey why are Holy sin here?" said Simba as he looked around. "And where is hanged" He said.

~Out in the ocean~

"You have to be kidding me...."said hanged as he tryed to follow the ship which the wolves and the Holy sin. He was floating on a plank of wood.

~On ship~

"Well where ever he is he will be back" said Allie sounding a bit worried to what she had done to Hanged.

"Hey we dont get a hi" said Crit as he came out of the bottom of the ship.
He had this evil look on his eyes like he was about to stab SImba.

"SORRRRRRRYYYYY" screamed Simba running behind Magi and Allie.

"Just kidding"said Crit as he put away his weapons. Allie then stared at him.

"Well we are here" Yelled Lilly as she yelled to them from the ships starbor.

"Where here?" said Simba as he noticed Hanged on a dock on the island lieing down, tired.

"We are at the feild to get to thantos tower."said Magi as he told Simba this. SImba just fell backwards.

"OHHHHHHHHH GOD" yelled Simba in a oh my god type of mood now.

~The gate into thanatos tower~

"Okay I will Giant fly wing us all the way up to the thanatos thrown room" said Allie as everyone rushed into the thanatos tower.

Next time
chapter 10
Saving the world
or destroying the world O.O?
DUN DUN DUHHHHHH
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Simbalato
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PostSubject: Re: The wolves war (WW for short )   Sat Apr 19, 2008 8:15 am

Chapter 10

~Thanatos tower~

Maero sat on a bench singing a weird but yet beautiful song, Ivory just listened wit ha tear rolling down her face. She enjoyed the music but the thought of being eaten by Memory of Thanatos, it had haunt her. Slowly Maero got up for a moment and walk past the pole Ivory was tied up and whispered sorry to her. She then stopped right next to Ivory.

"we are soul's of human's that have been controlled by Memory of Thanatos. He said if we help him regain his full strength then he would free us from this curse" said Maero as she put her hand on her mask. Then she walked away back into the thrown room.

~The gate entering Thanatos tower~

Allie was yelling commands on what to do as people were rushing into the gate.

"Come on Allie" said Cee and Pan.

"Coming" she said with a smile from the thought of getting Ivory from this moment.As they entered they noticed a light shining there in the center of the feild. It was strange but yet something made you wonder what was happeneing. Then slowly Negar was rolled down from the ceiling tighed up in a chain hanging in the center of the room above the light candle.

"NEGAR" yelled anne as she puleld out her bow and arrow and aimed at the chain. She shoot the air in a dirrect point to blow off the chain and break it ,but a firey arm lifted from the small flame on teh candle and completely destroyed the arrow.

"Hahahaha" cried out Ifrit as he rose from the candle.

"Everyone go I will take him" said Anne as she loaded her bow again.

"No we are not leaving you" said Allie as she prepared to fight.

"No, go now we don't know how much time we have and there are probably more of the monsters in the tower waiting for us and using are own members as bait." said Anne yelling at them to go on ahead.

Next time on WW
chapter 11
Anne umps over the candel XP
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PostSubject: Re: The wolves war (WW for short )   Sat Apr 19, 2008 9:08 am

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO i finally appeared in the story Very Happy
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Olafur
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PostSubject: Re: The wolves war (WW for short )   Sat Apr 19, 2008 11:57 am

simba you are amazing, i admire your work more then this i Love it =D, as a fellow writer i shake your hand and bow to your greatenss, Brother~

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- If i thrive i've overcome this land, if i fail i die a worthy man! - Ayreon ~ Two Gates

- Any coward can lie, but it takes great bravery to admit the truth. - Olafur

- You can buy a dog with food, you can buy a man with gold, but no one, can buy a Wolf of Geffen. - Olafur

- One man's Fun, Is another man's Hell - Metallica.

- Brother's everywhere, raise your hands into the air, we are warrior's, Warriors of The World !! - Manowar
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Lilly
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PostSubject: Re: The wolves war (WW for short )   Sun Apr 20, 2008 12:35 am

Oki, so... Can I make a bit of criticism? ^^ Please? ^^

Just to letyou know, Simba... you give yourself too much of the "starring" role here. It all centers on what you do and what you say while you focus too little on other characters. I think you should not forget about the qualities of every and each character of the guild, and I'm talking about sin's skills, wizards, etc... You should think a bit more about what the group actions are not in consequence of what you wrote about your own character. You have to fix that.

Another thing is that maybe you should get a bit more of imagination. ry to describe scenaries and character's feelings, as well as actions in a more detailed way. Right now, I just think the story lacks a bit of argument, I just don't know where the first fight on chapter one came from Wink.

...and get the full potential of the characters shown. Don't forget some of them are higher and lower levels, not all are the same. Skills may fail, equipments can break and weapons fall. Use more detail ^^
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Simbalato
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PostSubject: Re: The wolves war (WW for short )   Sun Apr 20, 2008 2:44 am

I know lily I am going ot do another story soon I might start it tonight during the first chapter. The problem with focusing on other people is you don't really know how they would act to the circumstances you know what I mean? Yeah but i am starting another story and making up the charcters so I don't have to worry about the emotions and such.

Yes you are right about the scenerie but I like the first fight in chapter one it gave a air of mystery XP.
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PostSubject: Re: The wolves war (WW for short )   Sun Apr 20, 2008 8:39 am

This story is written form Sim's point of view, so of course he is the main character. Nothing wrong with that. I will look forward to any new stories you write.
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PostSubject: Re: The wolves war (WW for short )   Wed Apr 23, 2008 9:34 pm

at one point i agree with lilly, at another point i like the story on how it is already, it may not be detailed, but! it has what it needs. like he tells you what happenes and you can use your own imagination to make the surrounding for yourself, like simba writes from, his own wiew, so does other people make up their own version of how things look and how people act while reading and following the writers mind, opinions and choices ^^. Overall i personaly like the story =D.

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- If i thrive i've overcome this land, if i fail i die a worthy man! - Ayreon ~ Two Gates

- Any coward can lie, but it takes great bravery to admit the truth. - Olafur

- You can buy a dog with food, you can buy a man with gold, but no one, can buy a Wolf of Geffen. - Olafur

- One man's Fun, Is another man's Hell - Metallica.

- Brother's everywhere, raise your hands into the air, we are warrior's, Warriors of The World !! - Manowar
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Lilly
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PostSubject: Re: The wolves war (WW for short )   Wed Apr 23, 2008 11:51 pm

I never said I didn't like the story, I was only giving simba some advice because personally I've been writing a story for more than 7 years and it is not finished... yet. From my failures I've learnt a lot, and I think that sometimes the writer's imagination is something really important if you want your readers to imagine the orld the same way you're viewing it in your head, that's the reason why, in all the scripts for my manga, I write even the most single detail, for when I'm drawing the scenes, I can perfectly see what's happening, in what conditions and what's surrounding the characters. Atmospheres are always very important.
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PostSubject: Re: The wolves war (WW for short )   Thu Apr 24, 2008 4:40 am

Lilly wrote:
Oki, so... Can I make a bit of criticism? ^^ Please? ^^

Just to letyou know, Simba... you give yourself too much of the "starring" role here. It all centers on what you do and what you say while you focus too little on other characters. I think you should not forget about the qualities of every and each character of the guild, and I'm talking about sin's skills, wizards, etc... You should think a bit more about what the group actions are not in consequence of what you wrote about your own character. You have to fix that.

Another thing is that maybe you should get a bit more of imagination. ry to describe scenaries and character's feelings, as well as actions in a more detailed way. Right now, I just think the story lacks a bit of argument, I just don't know where the first fight on chapter one came from Wink.

...and get the full potential of the characters shown. Don't forget some of them are higher and lower levels, not all are the same. Skills may fail, equipments can break and weapons fall. Use more detail ^^

FINALLY SOME CRITISISIM
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PostSubject: Re: The wolves war (WW for short )   Fri Apr 25, 2008 1:19 am

Lilly wrote:
I never said I didn't like the story, I was only giving simba some advice because personally I've been writing a story for more than 7 years and it is not finished... yet. From my failures I've learnt a lot, and I think that sometimes the writer's imagination is something really important if you want your readers to imagine the orld the same way you're viewing it in your head, that's the reason why, in all the scripts for my manga, I write even the most single detail, for when I'm drawing the scenes, I can perfectly see what's happening, in what conditions and what's surrounding the characters. Atmospheres are always very important.
Well also we all know what the citys look like you know? and THANK YOU FOR SAYING YOU LIKE THE STORY!!
I have never heard he say that she liked my story so it a bit of a honor I geuss.... XP I AM WERID and yeah I know what you are saying and I understand but also it is hard for me to say how people are like and give them like special parts and such seens I am not them and I am using real people...
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PostSubject: Re: The wolves war (WW for short )   Fri Apr 25, 2008 2:48 am

Simbalato wrote:
I AM WERID

agreed :3

btw lilly, scan some of the maga pages for use. i wanna see your art :O
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PostSubject: Re: The wolves war (WW for short )   Mon Apr 28, 2008 12:34 am

Chapter 11
Anne Jumps over the candel

Anne slowly pulled out a arrow, she looked Ifrit directly in the eye.

"What are you going to do wiht that you know you can not kill me" Yelled Ifrit as he launched huge amounts of fire at Anne. Anne then rolled out of the way.

"Sure, what ever you say" said Anne as she launched the arrow right at Ifrit but Ifrit just burnt it to a crisp.

"Hehehehe" cryed Ifrit as he summoned a kasa and a salamander. "Attack NOW!" yelled ifrit as he pointed to Anne and the monsters he summoned charged at her.

"Shit" she said as she scanned the area and runnign from salamander and kasa.

"Meteor storm" said Ifrit as he made giant meteors fall. Anne then was blasted away and hit a huge wall.

"God this is immposible" She said as she looked over next to Ifrit and saw the small stone which Ifrit was sealed in.

"Maybe if I could get that stone from him and then launch it into him with a crystal arrow he might be resealed... but how do I get the stone" She thought to her self as she pulled out a arrow. ANne then placed two traps to stop Salamander and Kasa as she killed them both.

"congratulations you killed my monsters... NOW I WILL KILL YOU!!" He yelled as she breathed fire that was like a missle directly at her.ANne just hid behind a huge crate which was quickly on fire from the fire breath.

"Got it" She said as she stood up from behind the crate and ran towards Ifrit. Then she placed a flasher trap directly under him which set off. As the huge light went off Anne took this moment to grab the stone and run.
She succefully grabbed the stone but she could not run fast enough so that Ifrit would not see her.

"You little" He said as used a huge earthquake and dragon breath at the same time which completely hit Anne. Blood slowly dripped down her head and down her arm.

"I think this might be the last tiem we see each other" she whispered as she aimed the arrow with the stone on it directly between his eyes and launched it.

"NOOO" Yelled Ifrit as he was shoot by the arrow and absorbed into the tiny stone again.

"Heh" said anne with a smile on her face as she fell to the ground.

Next time Chapter 12
The dance of Lilly!!
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PostSubject: Re: The wolves war (WW for short )   Mon Apr 28, 2008 1:43 am

very nice simba, very nice =D

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- If i thrive i've overcome this land, if i fail i die a worthy man! - Ayreon ~ Two Gates

- Any coward can lie, but it takes great bravery to admit the truth. - Olafur

- You can buy a dog with food, you can buy a man with gold, but no one, can buy a Wolf of Geffen. - Olafur

- One man's Fun, Is another man's Hell - Metallica.

- Brother's everywhere, raise your hands into the air, we are warrior's, Warriors of The World !! - Manowar
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